You would expect to be able to talk to your parents about anything and everything, especially when they tell you that you can. So why exactly am I telling everyone except them about my biggest fears and the fact that my brain's completely butchered?
Maybe because home is the source, possibly?
How am I meant to be happy when I'm constantly surrounded by cynicism, hypocrisy, stubborness, apathy, and other personality traits of that nature? I'd rather be living in the fantasy world of a seven year old again, to be honest. And since that's not a choice, I suppose my only option is to remove myself from the situation; not so easy when there's no jobs to be found for people who weren't lucky enough to find a job when they were younger. I'm only eighteen and in college and yet I can't get a job for the life of me because I have no bloody experience?? FISHSTICKS!
I'm genuinely scared of the future. I don't know where I'm going really. I mean, I'm studying Media and torn between staying in college or doing an apprenticeship, meanwhile, whichever I choose, I will be studying an NCFE in Teaching Assistance on the side so I can persue a career in that, because it seems like a fairly inspiring and rewarding job, along with possibly being the fastest way out of the house without me having to be dependent on unexpecting family members or complete strangers looking for roommates.
It all comes back to family, doesn't it? I don't feel completely ready to live on my own, I'll admit... but I will happily take the leap just to regain some happiness, rediscover myself, and dodge the burden of going through therapy. Again.
Dear Blogger, thank you will all of my heart for letting me get stuff off my chest without the worry that more arguments or tension will strike up due to me, err... speaking my mind.
Now all that's left to do is remind myself... you should always reach for the moon, because the worst you will do is fall and land on a star.
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